We've got the dreamer's disease
by xvivalaviexx
Summary: Set in an age where mixed blood relationships are looked down upon. When James calls it quits, Lily moves on. Five years later, James, now a famous Auror, and Lily, a well-respected Healer, have to work together. Will sparks fly?
1. Prologue

**We've got the dreamer's disease (HPFF - Lily/James) - Prologue**

Hello, readers. I've been reading fanfiction for years, but I've yet to write an actual story. This is my first fanfiction. It's pretty rough, but I hope to keep up with it. Read and review! :-)

Summary: Set in an age where mixed blood relationships are looked down upon. When James calls it quits, Lily moves on. Five years later, James, now a famous Auror, and Lily, a well-respected Healer, have to work together. Will sparks fly?

* * *

"Don't give up.  
You've got a reason to live.  
Can't forget, you only get what you give."

- New Radicals "You Get What You Give"

* * *

Lily sat perched on the windowsill, legs swinging loose in the humid late-May air. She was several stories up, but the height didn't frighten her in the slightest. She liked to come up here to contemplate her day, or just to get away from it all. It was a good spot. Hardly anyone ever came this way, as it wasn't located near a common room or close enough to any one classroom for students to walk by on a regular basis. Pity that. The window was located in an otherwise airy corridor and had an excellent view of the grounds.

She had found this secret spot of hers Second Year. As she could remember, she had been upset that particular day, after a certain raven-haired boy called her Carrot-Top during lunch. She had been so angry; she poured her goblet of Pumpkin juice over the boy's head and stormed out of the Great Hall. Blind in her anger, vision obscured by tears, she hadn't been paying any attention to where she was going and winded up at the window.

The view had left her breathless, caught the next sob before it could exit her throat. Under the burnt-orange glow of the setting sun, Hogwarts had been more than just beautiful; it had been awe-inspiring. Long shadows stretched across its lush green lawns, ending abruptly at the Forbidden Forest. The view was striking.

Ever since, whenever Lily was depressed or bored or looking for an escape, she'd make her way to the window. Regardless of time of day, she had always found the view picturesque, almost therapeutic.

Lily certainly needed her window today. While the sun was slipping through the clouds, lending to a demure Sunday, her insides were churning. She had been sitting in the same position since the crack of dawn, coming down from a liquid high. Her head was pounding; her thoughts were muddled, her brain tirelessly trying to organize them into a justifiable conclusion. Thus far, she had come up empty.

It had all started early Friday morning, at breakfast.

"That whore," snipped a voice from a table over. "Who does she think she is… making eyes at him like that, like she's just going to devour him the second she gets the chance? It's disgusting!"

"Seriously! I bet you can get a STD just from looking her in the eyes. Best warn Potter, before that Mudblood scum pounces on him again."

"Poor bloke. He must've had to have gone to the Infirmary after she attacked him like that yesterday. Revolting."

Lily didn't need to turn her head to know who the voices were talking about. She had honestly only looked at Potter twice since she entered the Great Hall, but she had expected the rumors. A "Mudblood" like her didn't just kiss a Pureblood like him, much less out of the blue like she had, and not expect gossip. It just wasn't possible.

Regardless, she was getting a little tired of the feedback. She took one long, last, delicious sip from her pumpkin juice, slammed the goblet down on the table (to illustrate her point), and clambered to her feet. She would find solace elsewhere.

Her elsewhere.

Not too many minutes later, he found her at her window. Pity she had told him about it.

"Lily," he said, out of breath from sprinting up flights of stairs after her. "Don't let them get to you like that. They just like to gossip. They'll be talking about something else by lunch."

Lily kept her eyes on the horizon, trying to smother the anger that was threatening to cloud her mind.

"It'll all blow over soon. Come on."

She felt his hand on our shoulder, and that did it. She turned to him, eyes flashing.

"It'll blow over?" she said between clenched teeth. "Yes, I imagine that it will blow over, _James_. I'll just forever be painted as the ugly Mudblood girl who threw herself at the rich, ever impressive James Potter. Blow over, my arse. I'm going to be ridiculed over this until the day that I die. Don't tell _me_ how to feel."

She attempted to make her way past, but he grabbed one of her wrists and swung her to face him.

"_You _kissed _me_, remember? If you had just waited like I asked, none of this would ever have happened."

"So it's my fault, then?" she spoke lowly, trying to free her wrist from his grasp. "If I had just kept everything under lock and key, then everything would be okay? I am your girlfriend, James, not some damn harpy! I'm tired of waiting in the wings."

"Lily, we agreed on this. It's far too complicated -"

"We've been together four months, James. Tell me, when is not going to be complicated? Or did you just plan on keeping me a secret forever?"

"Lily, don't be irrational. I-"

She pretended to not hear him.

"And now that I've kissed you publicly, you just want to sweep it under the rug, dismiss me as some whore, some poor, hormone-driven Muggle-born that just couldn't keep her hands to herself. Well, I won't stand for it. I-"

James mashed his lips against hers, and for a moment, Lily felt her anger ebb, felt herself fall into the kiss - before her anger returned full-force and she slapped him upside the head.

"Get off of me," she hissed.

She retracted her wrist from his grasp and stumbled back a few steps.

"Lily, you know that you mean more to me than that -"

Underneath his pleading tone, Lily could detect a faint trace of irritation beginning to boil. It wouldn't take long for that irritation to surface, she knew. Their relationship was built on arguing, built off opposing ideas. She didn't know why she thought they could work. They were too different.

"Really? If you had any respect for me at all, then you wouldn't insist on keeping this a secret. If you gave a damn about me, you would listen what I had to say, instead of forcing yourself upon -"

"If you gave a damn about me, you'd know how hard this has been on me, too-"

"On you? You're unbelievable, you know that? You were born into the highest tier in Wizarding society. You were handed everything in life, while I had to work for –"

"I don't hold where you're from against you. That's low, Lily, and even I know it –"

"You can bully first years and pull pranks on Slytherins, but when it comes to the important stuff, _Potter_, the stuff you claim to believe in, you wuss out."

On that note, Lily made to flee again. This time, it was his words that stopped her. "Well, it takes one to know one."

"Excuse me?"

She turned to face him, her hand itching for her wand.

"You can call me a wuss, a hypocrite, but why don't you try looking in the mirror some time? You might not be so pleased with the image that stares back."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You took no consideration of my feelings with that kiss. You knew that I wasn't ready for us to go public, but you decided to take matters into your own hands and make a public spectacle out of –"

"We're going to be public spectacle no matter what, James. You might as well face it now. No one is ever going to accept us as a couple. When will you get that?"

With that statement, tears had sprung to Lily's eyes, and she had turned and walked away. James made no move to stop her. He stood as still as a statue and said nothing. She hadn't been in contact with him since. She had expected him to say something to her Friday night at the latest, but he hadn't; he seemed to be avoiding her. By Saturday night, Lily took his avoidance as a sign that he did not want to be with her (why would she want to date someone like that anyway, who wanted to keep their relationship secret?). She took the secret passageway to Hogsmeade that he had shown her and got disastrously drunk. It had been an ineffective distraction. She had stumbled her way back into the castle, and instead of seeking much needed sleep, she had found herself at her window, the events turning over faster in her mind.

Sure, she had been and still was _pissed_ at James, was livid, in fact, but she had not expected him to give up so easily on her. Maybe he had been looking for an excuse all along and this had just been a convenient time to break up with her. The thought sent a pang to her heart, but before she could fall into that trap, Lily stopped herself. She had spent the past two nights concocting different versions for why James had not approached her, why he had been avoiding her. She had essentially ended it between the two of them, but if he really wanted to make it work, he would've tried to talk to her about it by now, wouldn't have he? If he had loved her at all, he would've announced that they were together months ago, instead of hiding her, being furious with her when she had kissed him in public. He would want to be with her, no matter the cost, no matter the public outcry.

With the burning sun climbing higher into the sky, Lily turned her thoughts from the past and to her future. James had obviously made his decision. She was nothing to him, and she wasn't going to sit there like a baby and waste time crying any longer than necessary. There were less than two weeks to graduation, and then Lily would be out in the real world. Her turbulent romance with James had thrown a wrench into her future. She had thought that they'd be together forever, and it took two nights and a pounding headache to realize how clouded her judgment had been. Even though he had kept their romance a secret, she had planned a cookie-cutter life for them, sacrificing her own desires to be with him. She had planned her future around him, deciding to take job writing at a local paper while he went through Auror training. She had always been the one to sacrifice herself to make their relationship work, never James. It was a little unsettling, to have that all ripped from underneath her, but Lily was a strong girl. She would go home for a few weeks, until she got back on her feet. Her future was a blank slate; and as the birds began to wake in their nests, songs filling the air, Lily was uncertain, but determined to get over James and make something of her future.

* * *

It's rough, pretty short, and perhaps already done, but read and review, please!


	2. Chapter 1

**We've got the dreamer's disease (HPFF - Lily/James)**

Thanks for the reviews, guys! Here's chapter two. Perhaps rougher than the prologue, but I hope that you enjoy it. ^_^

Summary: Set in an age where mixed blood relationships are looked down upon. When James calls it quits, Lily moves on. Five years later, James, now a famous Auror, and Lily, a well-respected Healer, have to work together. Will sparks fly?

* * *

"Oh, in five years time I might not know you  
In five years time we might not speak  
Oh, in five years time we might not get along  
In five years time you might just prove me wrong."

- Noah and the Wet Sprockets "5 Years Time"

* * *

"I need that report soon as possible, Lily!"

"Okay, Rick. I'll get on it in a minute. I have to see Marie first."

Lily tucked a strand of strawberry-blonde hair behind her ear, and pushed a medicine cart through a set of double doors. She travelled down a long white hallway to the very last door on the left, where an elderly woman lay twitching on the sheets.

"How are you feeling today, Marie?" Lily asked, unscrewing the top to a purple potion bottle on the cart.

"Oh, Lily," moaned the woman. "Be a dear and give me a drop of that… won't you? I'm not feeling too well today. It's a nasty curse. I won't be visiting my mother-in-law anytime soon, the batty wench. She thinks that just because I'm a squib she can do anything she wants. It's terrible times we're living in, just terrible times."

Lily nodded solemnly in agreement and fed the woman some of the potion. It was the last stop on her shift for the day. Since graduating Hogwarts, with her gifts in Potions and Charms, Lily had landed a job at St. Mungo's. It had taken a lot of training, but with patience and determination, she had become a well-accomplished Healer. She loved her job, but she feared about the state of the Wizarding World more and more each day. More and more of her patients were Muggleborn or of mixed blood, all deemed inferior by others, be it by mother-in-laws or, more recently, followers of this crazy Hitler-type figure, Voldemort. This Voldemort guy had just started to gain momentum when Lily graduated Hogwarts, and now his violence was spreading like wildfire. While Mugglebloods and Halfbloods and Purebloods were all created equal under the law, much, like mixed blood relationships, was still considered taboo. Voldemort capitalized on this fact, attracting bigots and adding to his numbers. It was sickening and much of the Wizarding community lived in fear. Lily should've been afraid like the rest of them, but as she gave Marie a potion to put her to sleep, she felt the familiar rush of anger greet her. She loved being a Healer, but a part of her was tired of being on the receiving end of so much pain. She wanted to be out there and fighting, putting an end to this reign of terror that seemed to grip the Wizarding World. Worse, no one seemed to be doing anything about the problem, not even the Ministry, and that only intensified her anger. Perhaps she should've have taken that small newspaper job five years ago, she thought idly. At least then she could attract the attention of the masses, motivate them to do _something_, instead of cowering in fear.

Marie was out the second the potion met her lips, and Lily went back out to meet her boss, Rick. She had a ton of paperwork to do before she could leave for the day. As soon as she made it back to the main lobby, however, there was the scuffling of feet, a new emergency pushing through the hospital, and she heard her name.

"There's been a fight. Some Aurors were hurt. Lily, we need you!"

"Can't you get Henderson?" Lily called back, wondering if she would ever get to her paperwork.

"No! He clocked out ten minutes ago, and it's an emergency. Get over here, and bring the yellow bottle! We've got some burns."

Lily followed the chaos. Aurors were in and out of St. Mungo's every day, usually with minor injuries. Lily didn't normally treat them. She specialized in creature-induced injuries, but her boss, Rick, had made it a requirement of everyone to spend some time on each floor lately. Just her luck, this week she got stuck on the fourth floor, which treated spell damages.

When she finally reached the chaos, the situation was worse than Lily initially surmised. There were three Aurors, two covered in second degree burns from the waist up. Long, jagged cuts covered the rest of their skin, many of which were deep enough to scar. The third was clutching his head, his brain swelling in its cavity. It was an ugly predicament, and for a moment – just a moment (not that Lily would ever admit it to herself), Lily's heart stopped. Her vision blurred, and she wavered in her movements, almost losing her grip on the yellow bottle.

Her boss's insistent voice brought her back to reality.

"Evans and Pewter, treat the burns," he barked. "Miller and Frances, help me figure out what blasted curse this is."

Lily and the other Healer set to work, first casting pain-relieving charms on the patients, neither of whom, in their given conditions, Lily could recognize. Several minutes later, after a number of spells and specially brewed concoctions were administered, some of the burns were starting to fade. The cuts had already been sealed up. The two Aurors would have to stay a few days in the hospital, but they were going to recover just fine. Their friend, however, wasn't so lucky. He had been hit with an especially ugly, especially rare curse, and it could take months for him to recover.

"Good work, Lily," her boss murmured over her shoulder, as she sealed up one of the last wounds.

"Thanks, Rick," she replied, putting away potions.

"I know that your shift ended half an hour ago, but since you already have that report on Miles to do –"

Lily groaned internally.

"I'll do a quick write-up for this," she sighed. "This place owns me anyway."

"Thanks, Lily," Rick said, flashing a smile in her direction. "You're a doll."

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Only you, Rick, could talk like that and get away with it."

He winked at her, and Lily made her way back into the lobby for the second time that day with the intent to do paperwork. What she didn't expect waiting for her in the lobby was –

"Frank Longbottom, is that you?"

She found herself drawn to a lean man in dark wizard robes, who stood stark out of place in the clean, pristine lobby. His robes were caked in mud, and his hair was longer than she remembered it, but she could recognize that face anywhere. He had been one of her closest friends at Hogwarts, the boyfriend of her best friend, Alice. She hadn't seen him in ages.

She pulled him in a hug. "Um, I'm sorry, who are –"

He was stiff in her arms.

"It's Lily, Frank. Lily Evans."

He pulled back from her.

"Whoa, hey now, it is. Alice told me that you were a Healer. Hey, what happened to the hair?"

Lily pulled at her ponytail, feeling self-conscious. It had been obnoxiously red her entire life, and she had been tired of the attention she received from it. She had dyed her hair soon after leaving Hogwarts, telling herself that it further signified the end of her old life.

"Oh, I dyed it," she replied, trying to deflect the conversation. "You're an Auror now, though? I never would've guessed in school; you always said that you wanted to become a Herbology teacher. That's neat, though. I actually have to write up the report on the incident out there, and maybe you could help. If you wanted to just come to my office, I can help clean you up –"

"Of course."

Frank followed Lily to her office on the first floor. With a few quick spells, he was looking like essentially the same, kind-faced boy that Lily knew from school.

"So, who are your friends?" Lily began, trying to keep the conversation lighthearted.

"Rewet and Manolete are the ones with the burns, and Cobalt's the one that got hit."

Lily nodded, jotting down some notes.

"Are they going to be okay, Lily?"

When Lily looked up again, Frank's hands were shaking.

"Rewet and Manolete should be fine within a few days. Cobalt, though, might have to stay with us for a while. He got hit with a nasty spell, and –"

"It was awful, Lily."

Frank's change in tone scared Lily. It was no longer lighthearted, but soft and tortured and_ scared_.

"They raided this Muggle family's house this time. I've never seen anything like it. We didn't get there in time. The whole place went up in flames. Every one of the family, dead… I –"

Lily put a hand on Frank's shoulder.

"Nobody is doing anything about it either, Lily. I mean, we're trying… but everyone is usually dead by the time we get there. I mean, we can't even protect anyone, not without reasonable cause… and it's just -"

The anger Lily felt earlier threatened to resurface.

"Lily, I – you're hurting me!"

Lily looked down. In her red haze, she hadn't realized that she had formed a death grip on poor Frank's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Frank. Sometimes it just gets to me, too."

"Join us, Lily."

"What?"

He had caught her completely off guard.

"I'm not supposed to talk about this, but it's partly why I'm here –"

Lily could feel herself go pale.

"What are you going on about, Frank?"

"They said that they weren't sure about you anymore, especially since you haven't talked to anyone since graduation –"

"That's not true," Lily bit in, but she knew that Frank had made a fair assessment. She'd stop and chat for a few minutes sure, but Lily had mostly left her past in the dark, where she thought it belonged. What was Frank talking about, though?

"But I knew that you were the same… and I mean, you seem the same –"

"Get to the point, Frank," she said abruptly. "You're beginning to scare me."

He stopped rambling to look at her, his eyes adopting a fierce, glazed look.

"We're forming something, Lily, an organization, to fight – to fight Vol-Voldemort."

His statement stunned her at first.

"Who, Frank, the government…?"

"No, Lily… the old gang and some others. Me, Alice, Remus, James Potter, Sirius Black…."

"James Potter? Sirius Black?"

The names fell like dead weights from her mouth. Sirius had been James's best friend at Hogwarts, and he belonged to a Pureblood family as well.

"Yes, anyway… we're mostly Aurors–"

Lily didn't hear much after Frank dropped the names, James Potter and Sirius Black. It wasn't like she thought that they were Voldemort supporters – in fact, Sirius had publicly denounced his family, well-known followers of the terrorist - at Hogwarts their sixth year, but she had not expected them to be such activists for the cause either. Afterall, James had decided to end their relationship because he couldn't stand to be seen with her, a Muggleborn dating a Pureblood from a rich family. Could that much have changed in five years?

"It's rough, but we could probably use someone like you in the field –"

And what were the chances? Lily had been angry earlier in the day, at the injustice of the world, had been frustrated by her inability to help, and here was an opportunity to do just that. But it came at a cost, a high cost… her past. She hadn't talked to anybody, besides Alice a few times over the Floo network, in years. This would entail her working close with people she had since avoided, with Sirius Black, with James Potter, the boy that had obliterated her heart. Without even realizing it, Lily was already telling Frank no.

"I can't, Frank. I'm sorry, but I can't."

He leaned across her desk and took both of her hands in his.

"Please, Lily. I know that you've got some skeletons in the closet that you'd rather not deal with, but this is bigger than you, this is bigger than us. And I can tell from that look in your eye, from the way you almost took off my shoulder, that you want to. We could really she use a Healer. I mean, it's still in its early stages, but we've got a meeting this week –"

He took a pen from inside his robes and wrote down an address on the report she was writing.

"Frank -"

"We're meeting on Tuesday at nine in the evening here. Just come to one meeting."

A new sense of purpose seemed to drive Frank now, and when he got to his feet, he was more composed. Lily could only gape at him as he wordlessly left the room, her mind spinning. She had told herself that she would never go back, but here she was, five years later, contemplating something that involved potentially working closely with James Potter. She closed her eyes and tried to think logically. She had sworn to herself that she would never go back, but she had moved on, and a lot had changed in five years. She wasn't the same person, and neither, apparently, was he. She didn't ever want to see James Potter again; he had broken her heart, but Frank was right; she couldn't let the past impact her decision. She had wanted this for a long time, this chance to finally do something, and though she didn't know what that was exactly going to entail, she knew that she couldn't pass up this opportunity. Her mind was made: Voldemort was going down.

* * *

Rough, yet again. Sorry. Got to do some editing.

Thanks for all of the reviews. :-)

James will be in the next one, I promise!

Please read and review!


	3. Chapter 2

**We've got the dreamer's disease (HPFF - Lily/James)**

Thanks for the awesome reviews, guys! Here's a little more. Read and review!

Summary: Set in an age where mixed blood relationships are looked down upon. When James calls it quits, Lily moves on. Five years later, James, now a famous Auror, and Lily, a well-respected Healer, have to work together. Will sparks fly?

* * *

"You could be the devil in my bed.  
You could be the angel in my head.  
You could be the voices that I hear.  
I'm singing along because it sounds just like you're near."

- Flickerstick "Beautiful"

* * *

It was Tuesday night, and Lily was just getting off her shift at St. Mungo's. It had been a long day. Three screaming six-year old boys had come in during her last hour, covered in magicked poison nettles. Needless to say, Lily was utterly exhausted and more than ready for a warm bubble bath at her flat in London. Despite her state of exhaustion, however, Lily found herself frozen in place, unwilling to make the quick turn to apparate home. Her heart wasn't into the idea, even if her body compelled her to make the decision. Where she really wanted to be, what had been bouncing around in her head ever since Frank wrote it down a few days ago, was at an address she didn't recognize, somewhere in Hogsmeade. Although Lily was still a bit skeptical about the whole thing, her mind had been toying with the idea all week. Another Muggle family had been murdered by Voldemort just yesterday, and Lily was anxious to get in there and fight for the cause, do whatever she could do to help out.

Unable to procrastinate any longer, Lily turned on her heel and apparated outside the Three Broomsticks, a well-known pub from her Hogwarts days. Where she was to go from there, she wasn't really sure.

"Lily!" a voice bellowed from behind her.

Lily turned, the voice sounding vaguely familiar.

A pair of strong arms attached to a large, plush body enveloped her.

"How have ye been?"

She pulled back, guilt dawning with recognition.

"Hi, Hagrid… I'm fine, I'm just a little –"

She stopped herself, but Hagrid smiled down at her through his scraggly beard.

"Don't ye worry yer pretty little head, I think that we're going ter the same place. Ye best follow me."

Lily struggled to keep up with Hagrid's long legs. He had been the groundskeeper at Hogwarts during her school years, and he was part Giant. She chased after him down a side street, and then down another street off that, and then down a short alleyway that Lily didn't know even existed.

"Hagrid, where are we?"

"Don't matter, does it? We're 'ere at last."

They went down a short flight of concrete steps, and then Hagrid banged twice on a door with a rusty umbrella Lily hadn't noticed he was carrying. The door swung open to reveal a completely bare room.

"Um, Hagrid… are you sure you got the address right?"

Hagrid turned and frowned at her.

"O' course I am. Let's try this again, eh?"

They stepped back outside and Hagrid gave the door three swift knocks this time. The door nearly tore off its hinges, but they had had more success. The room was dark, pulsating with music, and practically bursting with people. Lily took a moment to try to register some of the faces that she saw, but the lighting was too dim. She could make out a bar on the far right wall, but the contents of the rest of the room were obscured by the throng of gyrating people. It was hardly a place for a meeting.

"We're supposed to go upstairs," Hagrid urged, at once taking her by the elbow.

They climbed three flights of stairs and then Hagrid pushed open a wooden door. They entered small, cramped, poorly lit room. Lily didn't have much time to dwell on this fact, however, for soon she found herself in a flurry of outstretched arms.

"Lily! My gosh, is that you?!"

Her lungs struggled for air. "Alice, I think you're suffocating her."

"Don't be silly, Frank. She's fine – she's just – oh my, Lily, I am suffocating you! I'm so sorry, I -"

Alice let go of Lily's torso, and Lily felt like she could breathe again.

"I can't believe it's you! Whatever did you do to your hair? Frank told me, but I didn't believe him, of course. He's always trying to pull the wool over my eyes. My, my, you've gotten thin. You've always been tiny, though, you lucky thing. Why, what I wouldn't give for your figure –"

Alice's rampant babbling gave Lily a chance to inspect her surroundings. There was about a dozen people in the room, most of them sitting on stools or leaning against the back wall, which was maybe six or eight feet away. Lily skimmed over them with her eyes, almost scared of recognizing anyone she knew. A few people, of course, had risen from their seats when she entered the room and were standing behind Alice, patiently waiting to greet her.

Alice pulled Lily into another rib-bursting hug. "I'm so glad that you're here, Lily! I've missed you so much!"

Lily felt her insides turn over. Alice was still the same upbeat, firecracker of a person she had always been, and Lily felt a pang of guilt for not keeping in contact with her over the years. It had just been easier to stay away. She hadn't wanted to burden Alice with her unhappiness. Now she felt regret threatening to take over.

Alice quickly stepped aside, and it was Frank who gave Lily a hug next.

"You found the place!"

"Thanks to Hagrid," Lily laughed, her voice sounding strained to even her own ears.

Hagrid patted her on the head and crossed the room to join those against the back wall.

The next to approach her was Remus Lupin, someone she had not realized she had missed until he stood in front of her, arms outstretched. He had been one of James's closest friends, but he had also been one of hers. They had been Prefects together, partners in Potions, and study buddies on numerous exams throughout their academic careers at Hogwarts. He looked worn standing in front of her, and there was a sad twinkle in his grey eyes, but the smile on his face was genuine. Lily embraced him fully, glad to see her old friend.

Over his shoulder, however, mid-embrace, Lily's eyes met with those of a character leaning against the wall. James Potter.

She felt herself go stiff in Remus's arms. James was staring at her with an uncomfortable intensity, as if his hazelnut eyes were trying to penetrate her very soul. He seemed to be drinking her in with his eyes, assessing her condition, and despite herself, Lily began to do the same. Her eyes scanned James quickly. He appeared more muscled than she remembered, bordering on stocky, but still tall, well-built. He had dark circles under his eyes, even apparent in this dim lighting and the space that separated them. His hair was as disobedient and messy as ever – and that's when he caught her staring at him, running a hand through his jet-black hair and displaying the Potter trademark smirk that used to drive her gaga. She fought the urge to push Remus off of her, cross the room, and smack that stupid grin right off his face. As if hearing her thoughts… or maybe he read something in her expression, James let out a soft chuckle. Lily pulled back from Remus sharply, trying to get her emotions under control.

"It's so good to see you again, Remus," she murmured cordially.

"We've got a lot of catching up to do," Remus replied pointedly, obviously not buying into Lily's polite façade. Unlike Alice, who seemed more than willing to ignore the fact that Lily had wanted nothing to do with any of them until recently, Remus was not going to let her off the hook so easily.

"Some things never change, do they?" she said absentmindedly.

Remus followed her gaze.

"Don't let him fool you, Lily. He's not the same person he used to be. It's just an act to keep you –"

Remus had been one of the few people Lily had ever talked to about the full extent of her relationship with James, and while she understood the need for him to defend his friend, she could not help but feel irritated.

"That's okay," Lily cut in quickly. "Neither am I."

He shook his head at her but said nothing.

"So, who's running this meeting?" she asked, settling into a wooden chair in the corner.

Remus, Alice, and Frank followed her.

"You won't believe it, Lily, but –"

Alice's words were cut off as the door swung open. A young man stumbled into the room. He was taller than James, with windswept black hair.

"Sirius Black is running this meeting?"

Lily almost got to her feet and left the room, but Sirius was already pulling off his coat and beginning to speak.

"Hello, all. Thanks for coming. Dumbledore was supposed to help kick off this meeting, but he couldn't get away, so you'll just have to feast your eyes on me for tonight."

He gave the crowd a suggestive wink, and a few people chuckled appreciatively.

Lily did not. Sirius Black, not that she didn't like him because he was associated with James, had been a troublemaker during their school years at Hogwarts. The fact that he was running this meeting was like trying to get a date with the Giant Squid; it was utterly ridiculous. But the fact that Dumbledore, her old Headmaster, was somehow involved put Lily's mind at ease.

"Okay," he said casually, tossing his coat on a nearby chair. "We all know why we're here. We're tired of Voldemort; we're tired of not being able to do anything. Even as an Auror, we can't touch him, can't get near him. The Ministry doesn't want to admit that we've got a serial killer on the loose. To describe Voldemort as just that, however, would be to underestimate his powers."

The room had gone utterly still. While they all wanted to do something about Voldemort, few actually used his name, referring him to as Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or You-Know-Who mostly. Several flinched as Sirius went on, but Sirius hardly paused himself.

"Dumbledore had him as a student, years ago, and his magical abilities are more immense and darker than you can even imagine. Voldemort does not play fair. He does not have remorse. He is gifted with magic, maybe even more gifted than Dumbledore himself. He will not be easy to take down. He wants power… more and more power. His numbers are growing, almost doubling daily. If someone doesn't do something soon, he will have what he wants, control over the Wizarding World. And he won't just stop there, he'll move onto torturing the Muggles, to destroying their world, which some have argued he already has."

Lily had forgotten how charismatic Sirius was. He'd been popular in school, and now he had the whole room hanging on his every word.

"You may ask how we can stop this, stop him. And I don't know rightfully. How do you stop a maniac? If our own government is unwilling to get involved, then what can we do? Well, we've got to at least try. We've got to track this guy down and stop him… serve up some vigilante justice. To do this, though, we're going to need people; we're going to need you. We need intelligence. We need agents on the ground. It's dangerous… I'm not going to lie. Some may die. But you have to ask yourself if the pros outweigh the cons. What matters most to you? Family? Order? Peace? If you don't have the stomach for this, go on… get out. This is not something for the lighthearted. "

Nobody stirred, and then a tentative hand came from a few people over. Lily recognized it as belonging to Marlene McKinnon.

"Yes, Marly?" Sirius asked with an edge to his voice.

"When do we start?"

* * *

I hope that you liked it. Still need to edit parts.

Read and review, please!


	4. Chapter 3

**We've got the dreamer's disease (HPFF - Lily/James)**

Hello, all. Thanks for the lovely reviews! Here's some more for you to read. ^_^

I'm less proud of this chapter. It's shorter than my first two, a bit gooey, and I'm not sure if I did James Potter justice. I do hope that you like it, however. It's set from James's point of view.

Read and review!

Summary: Set in an age where mixed blood relationships are looked down upon. When James calls it quits, Lily moves on. Five years later, James, now a famous Auror, and Lily, a well-respected Healer, have to work together. Will sparks fly?

* * *

"I don't mind the weather -  
I've got scarves and caps and sweaters.  
I've got long johns under slacks for blustery days,  
I think it's brainless to assume that making changes to your window's view will give a new perspective.  
And the hardest part is yet to come...."  
- Death Cab for Cutie's "Blacking out the Friction"

* * *

The meeting was drawing to a close, and from James's point of view, it had been a gigantic success, despite Dumbledore's absence. Everyone that came had decided to join the fight. A tentative name had even been decreed, the Order of the Phoenix. They also had decided to meet here for at least the first couple of meetings, a place that Dumbledore had, oddly enough, originally picked out.

As a list was being drawn for potential positions within the Order, James's eyes scanned the room. Even without the obnoxiously red hair, like a magnet, his eyes found her instantly. Lily Evans. She seemed a lot different than he remembered her. She appeared more reserved, more tentative in her surroundings. He wondered if he struck that chord in her. Then again, she hadn't seen anyone here in five years, so it made make sense for her to be naturally cautious.

He hadn't expected her to come, after the way they had parted ways, but he supposed that a part of him always knew that she would. She cared too much; she was a fighter. She was probably surprised to see him here, no doubt, after the way he had treated her. But if she had just listened for one moment –

James closed his eyes, trying to forget the memory of that day. Lily had been so angry with him, and even though he had tried to control his feelings, his frustration had gotten the better of him, and they had fought. James had understood Lily's point – it wasn't fair of him to keep her hidden in the shadows. But she had gone to drastic measures to make their relationship apparent, despite the fact that he wasn't quite ready for it to go public. He knew that Lily had thought that he was ashamed of her, ashamed of her lack of magical blood, and that's why he wouldn't make them public, but it ran deeper than that. James had loved Lily, and he would've gone to the end of the universe to protect her, but making their relationship public like that would've done more harm than good. He wasn't naïve, of course, of the complications of mixed blood relationships, that some people were never going to understand, that it was always going to be a controversial issue. He didn't deny that fact, but he couldn't ignore the dangers imposed by being in one. And it wasn't his safety that he was just thinking about. It had been Lily's. He had been unsure of, in a world where mixed blood relationships were already frowned upon, in which crazy figures like Voldemort were on the rise, if he could've protected Lily against all those who hated anyone that wasn't a Pureblood, defended her against the craziness that threatened to spill over. He wasn't sure if he could've made that decision, not if there was a chance of her being hurt. And so he had done nothing when she tearfully turned away from him that day, nothing because he figured that she was safer in a world without him. Of course, Lily had never seen it that way. She thought that their love could withstand anything. She was not aware of, or perhaps she just remained ignorant, of the dangers. The fact that she was here today was proof of that. It was dangerous to be a Muggleborn in today's Wizarding World, but she was sacrificing her own safety for the lives of others. He didn't like it, but there didn't seem to be safety guaranteed any more, not in the Wizarding World, not in the Muggle World.

As if sensing his eyes on her, Lily's head turned, and she caught his gaze. Her strawberry-blonde hair didn't really suit her, he thought. But then again, five years had passed. He hardly knew her now. What hadn't changed, and perhaps it was due to the green robes she wore as a Healer, were her eyes. They were bright and green and hypnotizing. James found that he couldn't keep his eyes off of her – and even when she turned away from him, a scowl crossing her features, he still found himself staring at her.

"Earth to Prongs!" said a voice at his side, accompanied by a sharp jab to the ribs.

James blinked up at his best friend, who apparently had just concluded the meeting. People were scrambling up from their chairs, pulling on their coats.

"What's up, Padfoot?"

"The meeting's over with, mate."

But James's gaze had already wandered back over to where he last saw Lily. This didn't go undetected by Sirius.

"Prongs, I thought that we concluded this morning that you were over her."

James and Sirius lived in a flat in Hogsmeade together, along with Remus. Even as he said it, both James and Sirius knew that there was no truth behind his words. Sirius probably didn't even believe him that morning, probably didn't believe him five years ago when he pronounced his love for Lily as dead.

"Go talk to her," his friend supplied.

"I can't, Padfoot. You know that. I broke up with her. She hates me."

Sirius pushed him out of his chair.

"Then it won't be any different than your years spent at Hogwarts together, bickering over the stupidest things."

James glanced at Sirius. Lily and James, before they had been together, of course, and even a little after, had been notoriously known for their fights at Hogwarts. That's how they had fallen in love really.

"Oh, come on, Prongs-y. You two are going to have to work together sooner or later, so you might as well clear the air now."

"When did you get so wise?" James asked.

"I dunno," Sirius shrugged. "I must be rubbing off of Remus, or it's this war or something."

James knew that it ran deeper than that. At Hogwarts, Sirius had denounced his family publically. What most people didn't know, though, was that Sirius had been kicked out - though he often referred to it as the time he "got out of that bloody place" - because he didn't support his family's involvement with Voldemort or "the Dark Lord". He had lived with the Potters during his last year at Hogwarts, remaining financially independent thanks to some rich uncle (another rogue family member). It was a huge part of what he was doing now. He still acted lighthearted and like the best friend James had always known, but he had a darker, maturer edge to him now, a sense of responsibility and justice that he exhibited in his career as an Auror, that he had just demonstrated ten minutes ago with his speech.

Sirius gave him another shove.

"Talk to her before she leaves."

James stumbled over, glaring daggers at his friend. He tapped Lily on the shoulder, and she turned to him slowly.

"Can I help you?"

He didn't expect to hear so much malice in her words.

"We have to work together, so I thought that I'd just clear the air…."

It was amazing what she did to him really. He felt stupid in her presence, unable to do or say anything of value, immobilized. His words came out strangled and in odd spurts of noise. Where was the Potter charm he had exhibited earlier?

She frowned at him, as if trying to judge the verity in his words. Then she let out a long sigh.

"Since we have to work together, fine…."

She swallowed thickly.

"The past is the past. I'll be as cordial as I can to you, if you swear to do the same."

He nodded, unable to do or say anything else. He was caught in the trap of her eyes again. They glittered darkly up at him through long lashes.

"Well, glad we're in agreement then. Goodbye."

Then she turned from him and started to walk away. "Wait!"

He wasn't sure what made him do it. It was idiotic really. She had been nicer to him than he had expected her to be. He was only fucking things up again.

She turned to him but said nothing.

"I like your hair."

It was the only thing that he could think of saying, and Lily gave him an odd look before turning away.

"You've got game," Sirius whispered amusedly, throwing an arm around his shoulder.

James ran a hand through his hair. His first interaction with Lily, and he started it off with a lie.

"It's not a game, Padfoot," he muttered. "She shouldn't even be here. It's dangerous."

"Oh, James-y, she's a big girl. She can take care of herself. She survived five years without you. And from what Frank Longbottom tells me, she wants this as much as we do."

"That," James countered, as he watched Lily struggle to put on her coat, "is what I'm afraid of."

* * *

Thanks again to my faithful readers. :-)

Alice will be a key character in the next few chapters.

We'll also get to see more of the other Order members.

James and Lily will interact more, too. More awkwardness, more tension.

Read and review, please!


	5. Chapter 4

**We've got the dreamer's disease (HPFF - Lily/James)**

A longer chapter for you all, in which quite a bit happens. Rough and a bit weird, but I hope that you like it!

Much thanks to all of my awesome reviewers! Sorry it took so long to update.

Summary: Set in an age where mixed blood relationships are looked down upon. When James calls it quits, Lily moves on. Five years later, James, now a famous Auror, and Lily, a well-respected Healer, have to work together. Will sparks fly?

* * *

"So arrogant  
Your worst is the best  
It's so easy  
To make a fucked-up mistake  
And walk away  
Just like it was  
Or move away  
Miles between us."  
- I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness's "Your Worst is the Best"

* * *

The air was frigid. Lily pulled her coat closer to her body, beginning to shiver.

"Hey, Lily, want to grab a Butterbeer?"

Frank and Alice had come out of the building behind her. They both wore warm, encouraging smiles. Lily's stomach turned over for the umpteenth time that night.

"I don't know, guys," she mused. "I've been on my feet since six this morning, and I'm really tired. Maybe some other –"

Only the exhaustion that she had felt earlier had ebbed. Sirius's speech had left her feeling exhilarated, ready to fight Voldemort. She just wasn't sure if she could handle more of the whole situation tonight. More of the people she hadn't talked to in several years, more of Frank and Alice's warmth, more of that _stupid_ James Potter.

_He likes her hair_? He breaks up with her for a superfluous reason, doesn't talk to her in five years, and then once he does, he tells her that _he likes her hair_? What the bloody-?

"Nonsense, Lily," said a voice behind Alice and Frank. "We haven't talked in five years. And Rosmerta gives a great discount to Hogwarts alumni. It won't break the bank."

Lily sighed. She had known that Remus wouldn't let her off the hook so easily.

"Remus –"

"It's one drink, Lily."

The Three Broomsticks was packed. It was obviously a Hogsmeade weekend, and Rosmerta had her hands full, but she still sent a smile when the four of them entered the pub. Lily hadn't been to the pub in years herself, but the others gave either a small wave or an encouraging nod. They found a table in the back corner, and Remus went up to get them all Butterbeers.

"Glad to see that Rosmerta is doing so well," Lily muttered.

"This place is hopping," agreed Alice.

There was a long moment of awkward silence.

"So, Lily, what have you been up to?" Frank asked, biting the bullet.

Remus came back with their drinks.

"Well, as you could've guessed, I graduated Hogwarts and became a Healer. I work at St. Mungo's. I specialize in creature-induced burns," she supplied, taking a small sip of her Butterbeer. "There really isn't much new with me, I guess, other than that… and my hair."

She laughed a little at that last part.

Remus gave her a long, considering look.

"Um… so what's up with you guys? You're an Auror now, Frank, that's terrific."

He grinned sheepishly at Lily and placed his hand over Alice's on the table.

"Yeah, I never would've expected of it myself either, but I am."

Lily nodded.

"What do you do, Alice?"

"I'm an Auror, too, actually. I first spent some time working in the Department of International Magical Corporation, though. It was tough working there… with everything that's been going on. I became an Auror to help take him down, but the Ministry is not doing much about it, not yet at least…."

"I don't know when they're going to open up their eyes and finally realize that something preventive needs to be done… and before he strikes, not after," Remus chipped in. "It's sad really."

Lily nodded.

"I see people come in every day with injuries relating to that bastard. It's hard to_ not_ want to do something."

The three nodded in agreement.

Lily took another long gulp of her Butterbeer, thinking that perhaps reconnecting with everyone - at least Alice, Frank, and Remus, might not be entirely painful. Her eyes scanned the crowded pub, and that's when trouble walked in. Only it wasn't James Potter trouble. It was trouble of another variety. The dangerous kind. Lily only caught a glimpse, but she was sure that she saw -

"And we're thinking about a wedding in the summer –"

Alice had been rambling again, and Lily almost gagged on her Butterbeer when she fell back to Earth.

"You're getting married…?!"

Frank leaned close to Alice.

"I thought it a bit funny when she didn't react. I suppose that I thought she was in shock."

Alice shot him an unnerving glance.

"I'm sorry, Alice," Lily said hurriedly, reaching for her friend's hand. "I'm happy for the both of you, I really am. There isn't a better couple than the two of you… and you clearly deserve one another. But –"

"But…? Is she trying to talk us out of marriage? Lily, I already bought the ring –"

Alice swatted Frank's shoulder. He gasped loudly in pain.

But Lily was no longer paying any attention to the pair of them. Her eyes were focused on trouble, on the few people that had just entered the room. They were not dressed in the typical Death Eater attire, but they were wearing long red cloaks, the hoods drawn low over their heads, which struck Lily as odd, sketchy. It was difficult to make them out as they pushed their way through the crowd, but Lily could've sworn that she had seen-

"I think that something –"

She jumped to her feet, but it was already too late. There was a flash of green light, and what ensued next was utter chaos. A few people screamed, and then spells were flying all over the place. Remus made to move out of his seat, but he got struck in the chest with a rogue stunning spell. Frank and Alice swirled around, wands already raised, but it was almost impossible to make out the figures in the mass of bodies that were pushing and shoving, scrambling for the exit.

Adrenaline pumping through her veins, Lily plunged into the fray, forcing herself through the throng of people, and tracing her way to the place she had last seen the swish of a blood-red cloak. When she managed to find her way to a clearing, however, she found the still body of a young girl, no older than fourteen, lying on the floor as white and as cold as fresh snow. Dead. _Murdered_. Another girl stood hovering over her, sobbing incoherently.

Lily grasped her shoulder.

"Which way did they go?" she said tersely.

The girl only shook her head, incapable of communicating in her unexpected grief.

Which way could they've gone?

_Think, Lily, __**think**_.

The surrealness of the situation gripped Lily, clouding her judgment. They only had two choices really. They could've apparated or gone back the way that they had came.

Lily shoveled her way through the throng of panicking people. When she got outside, though, she stopped dead in her tracks. Hanging low and bathing the night sky in an eerie green hue, there was a gigantic skull with an animated snake coming out of its mouth. The Dark Mark.

Screams ripped the icy nighttime air, and Lily sank to her knees. The Death Eaters were long gone.

Ministry officials arrived shortly after the incident, and after a round of questioning, Lily and the others were free to go. It had been the longest, most miserable night of Lily's life. She had seen the whole thing happen right in front of her eyes, and she had done _nothing_. Now some poor girl from Hogwarts, a third year Hufflepuff, Muggleborn no doubt, was dead. She had been murdered right in front of Lily's eyes. _**Murdered**_. Murdered for no reason. Another innocent life lost. And all because Lily hadn't been quick enough, because Lily had allowed herself to become temporarily distracted, because Lily hadn't known what to do –

"Come on," Alice sighed, putting an arm around Lily's waist. "You shouldn't be alone tonight."

Lily wiped tears she hadn't realized she had been crying, but said nothing, just followed her three old friends down a tangle of streets, her mind slowly slipping.

"We've got to tell the Order, first thing. There's no greater tragedy –"

Remus was talking, but Lily only caught snippets.

They walked for what felt like forever.

"This is me," Remus said, standing outside a crumbling, brick-faced building. "Do you guys want to come in?"

Frank and Alice nodded.

"I don't think I could apparate, much less sleep, after all that," Alice supplied, a tremor in her voice.

Frank nodded in agreement, and Remus fumbled for his keys. He unlocked the door, and Lily followed them in, dazed after the day's events.

They entered a shabby apartment, of which the details escaped Lily.

"Frank, I think that she's having a panic attack or something –"

Lily's breathing had become erratic, and then the world swirled into an incomprehensible blur of color and sound. She felt herself tip back further and further, and then she was free-falling into the black void of unconsciousness.

When Lily came to, the sky was an ashy gray. She distantly remembered passing out, but what frightened her the most was that she didn't recognize her surroundings. She woke up in somebody's bed, in some apartment that she didn't recognize. The only light came in through the one window. There was a blanket draped over her, and a cool glass of water on the nightstand. Her coat was draped over a chair, her wand protruding from a pocket. There was a bureau in the corner, but the room was otherwise empty. It was probably a guest room.

Lily sat up, her head feeling stuffed and too heavy for her body.

Did she have a concussion?

Better safe than sorry.

She crawled across the bed slowly, took her wand, and pointed it at the glass of water. The water swirled into a pink, frothy liquid.

It wasn't much, but it would have to do.

Lily drank the glass of water, gulping it down hurriedly. She could hear voices in the next room over.

Footsteps creaked, and Lily drained the glass, placing it back on the table and ducking under the blanket. The bedroom door creaked open.

"You sure we shouldn't have taken her to the hospital?" said a voice.

"James, I think that she'll be fine. Now the Order is going to arrive any minute now –"

The Order…?

The medicine started to take effect, and the events of the day before came rushing back. Her shift at Mungo's. The meeting. The Order of the Phoenix. The death at The Three Broomsticks. Being unable to stop it.

The door creaked shut, and Lily threw the covers off of her. A girlish shriek let out. She had meant to throw the covers on the floor, but she had thrown them on someone instead. That someone in particular was James Potter. And he was the one who had let out the girlish shriek.

Lily rolled off the bed as James struggled to untangle himself from the blanket.

What was he still doing in here? But instead of phrasing it like that, Lily said something else instead.

"Why were you hovering over me like some creeper?"

James yanked the blanket off him, his already messy black hair jutting out at weird angles.

"I wasn't being a creeper," he instantly defended. "I –"

His eyes flicked over to the nightstand.

"I – I just noticed that you finished your water, is all."

Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

He stepped closer, and Lily reclined back into her bed.

"After passing out like that, are you sure you should be trying to get up?"

His tone was trite, but Lily wasn't about to back down completely.

"I'm the Healer, aren't I?"

He shrugged at her indifferently, and Lily climbed out of the bed, trying to relocate her shoes.

"What's going on?" she asked, finding them at the foot of the bed. "How long have I been out?"

"You've been out a couple hours," James mused, not making eye contact. "We're holding an emergency Order meeting."

Lily nodded, pulling on her shoes.

"Hey, Lily –"

She pulled the strings too tight on her boots, his words resounding in her ears. She hadn't heard him say her name in five years. And the last time he had said it, he had been furious with her. This time, though, he had said it sweetly, hardly louder than a whisper.

"What?" she said, tying her left boot.

_What was he trying to get at?_

"Remus said that you seemed distracted a moment before the attack, like you might've seen something –"

Lily forced herself to look at him. His eyes burned through her, as if he had X-ray vision. He left the unspoken question hanging in the air. They sat like that for a few minutes, oceans between them, until Lily had to look away. She hadn't told the Ministry officials, because she doubted that they would've understood or believed her. Eye witness accounts, after all, were often unreliable. She supposed that she hardly believed it herself. She didn't want to believe it, but it was beyond that stage now. She wasn't so sure why she kept holding out all those years, hoping that things would change. There was nothing she could do about it. She had to tell someone. It would only help their cause....

She steadied herself, and then looked up at James again.

"I saw Sev."

James blinked.

"Snape…?"

Lily nodded. Severus Snape had been her best friend growing up, and though, during their last few years at Hogwarts, he, as a Pureblood, had shunned her and started to meddle in the Dark Arts, Lily had never really stopped caring for him. He had goodness in his heart, despite what everyone else thought. He also had a lot of dark in him, too, which had ended Lily's friendship with him; he had started to scare her. To think that he had regressed to this stage, though, that he had become a Death Eater – even if Lily no longer knew him, she had never imagined that he would've joined Voldemort. The truth of his character cut into her like a fresh wound.

"Are you sure?"

James's jaw was clenched in a repressed fury.

Lily nodded again.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

His words bit into her, making her feel scared and angry and vulnerable. She fought those feelings with all of her strength.

"I couldn't be sure –"she began, realizing how weak and pathetic she sounded.

James jumped to his feet and started to pace.

"That bloody wanker, why I –"

"I only saw a glimpse –"

James turned on her, incredulous.

"You're defending him now?!"

His voice reverberated on the walls. The voices went quiet in the room next door.

James had never liked Severus Snape. He had, in fact, bullied Severus mercilessly during their years at Hogwarts.

Lily stood up to her full height.

"No, I am not defending him. I was only _implying_ that if I had had a better look, if I could've known for sure, then maybe I could've – maybe I would've –"

Her voice cracked and she fought back tears.

"Well, no use in crying over spilt pumpkin juice," she mumbled more to herself than himself. "Might as well get this meeting on the road…."

James's features were frozen place. Lily wiped at her eyes and left the room. A few minutes later, James followed her. The Order was waiting.

* * *

My poor characters have had quite the time. And it's only going to get more dangerous for them. O.o.

Order meeting in the next chapter.

I hope that you liked it. :-)

Read and review!


	6. Chapter 5

**We've got the dreamer's disease (HPFF - Lily/James)**

So, here's the next chapter. Shorter, rougher, and with less James and Lily-ness. Trying to kick-start the Order. Switches from James's point of view, to Lily's.

Many thanks to all of my wonderful, loyal reviewers! You guys are the **absolute** best!

Summary: Set in an age where mixed blood relationships are looked down upon. When James calls it quits, Lily moves on. Five years later, James, now a famous Auror, and Lily, a well-respected Healer, have to work together. Will sparks fly?

* * *

"I wasted, wasted  
love for you,  
trading out for something new.  
Well, it's hard to change the way you lose  
if you think you've never won."

- Matt Nathanson's "All We Are"

* * *

There was a lot of scuffling and a few wayward glances, but no one mentioned the fight that took place between Lily and James. Still, the air was tense. Order members from the night before sat in a scattered arrangement in the apartment's living room, bleary eyed from a lack of sleep or tears or both. Sirius sat on a stool at the forefront, and he motioned for James to join him once he entered the room. James's eyes darted to look at Lily – he hadn't meant to hurt her, but somehow, even through the years that separated them, she still brought out the worst in him – but her back was to him; and even when she turned towards Sirius, her gaze remained out of focus, miles away.

James took his place next to Sirius, and then Sirius cleared his throat, the chatter in the room coming to an abrupt halt.

"For those who don't know why we're here," Sirius began. "A small group of Death Eaters invaded The Three Broomsticks last night and killed a Muggleborn student of Hogwarts. Some of our members were there, but the Death Eaters were still able to commit the crime and vanish before anything could be done."

"Some of our members were there…?"

The outcry came from Dorcas Meadowes, a talented witch, who had graduated a few years before James and Lily.

"Yes."

A quiet murmur rippled through the crowd. The news was beyond discouraging. After the meeting yesterday, everyone had left believing that they could do something about Voldemort, about the deaths happening. And some of them had been there during the attack. And someone had _still_ died.

"As you can see, sheer force is going to do little to stop this monster," Sirius went on. "We need to act, and we need to act _fast_. We need information. We need to be one step ahead, at all times, so something like this doesn't happen again – at least not on our watch."

He paused for a moment.

"To do that, we need to know how Voldemort thinks. We already know that he attacks those that are Muggles, Muggleborn, or those with any kind of blood impurity. His attack in Hogsmeade last night showed how far he is willing to take his hatred. Now is a time for caution, but now is also a time for risk. Many of you were the brightest in your year, and many of you are leaders in your field today. We need you right now, for our first course of action is about to take place. An undercover mission must be started almost immediately. We need agents in enemy territory, to gather intelligence."

A few gasps sounded in the room.

"Other than gathering intelligence, however, the most important factor to this mission is its secrecy. Not everybody will be needed at all times. After all," Sirius chuckled, "It would look rather suspicious if the Department of Magical Law Enforcement lost all of its Aurors to vacation days and bouts of illness."

Yesterday, people would've laughed along with him, but no one dared to now. Not with so much at stake.

A hand went up in the back. Caradoac Dearborn, a nice-looking fellow, whom Lily had once admitted having fancied during Fourth Year, had a few questions to ask.

"Where's Dumbledore during all of this? And who gets to decide who gets to do what?"

He wasn't the brightest lad, was he?

"One of his students was attacked," James supplied. "Understandably, he is trying to reassure his students and their parents that Hogwarts is a safe place to be."

_Dolt_.

"Dumbledore is busy, but I don't think any of us doubts his involvement in the Order," Sirius said pointedly, obviously thinking the same of Dearborn. "He is the founder of this organization, the wisdom behind what we do. We might not be Hogwarts students anymore, but Dumbledore has invaluable insight. I run all plans by him, and he gives his advice. As task leaders of the Auror office, James and I will construct many of the plans together. The more takes we have on an idea, though, the better off we are. So, we'll be asking for your opinions regularly on a range of situations. Official assignments should be ready in three to five days time. Any questions?"

Marlene Mckinnon, the ever-ready one, raised a hand.

"Marly?"

"Three to five days time…? Is there anything we can do? He could kill a dozen families in that span."

Sirius didn't skip a beat.

"It's going to take a few days to make a plan. We _are_ risking our lives, obviously, and a dead Order is not an Order. What you can do, though, is keep your ears and eyes open. Follow leads… but don't do so on your own, obviously. Pass along information and try to recruit only those that you **absolutely **trust. Our greatest strength at the moment is that Voldemort doesn't know of the greatness of the threat imposed against him. He will soon, though, **mark my words**."

A new atmosphere settled over the Order, the same determination that gripped the Order the night before, after Sirius's first speech.

"Who would like some breakfast before another day at the office?"

Alice had sprung to her feet, her wand at the ready.

Already, James thought, the Order was beginning to feel like family.

* * *

There were a couple of things that struck Lily about the second Order meeting. One of them was the social maturation of one Sirius Black; she had never realized that he had even possessed half the depth he displayed when he talked. The second was the fact that Sirius Black and James Potter were both head task leaders of the Auror Office; back in school, she would've laughed at the idea of the pair being leaders of _anything_. The third, of course, hit her when Alice mentioned breakfast; she had completely forgotten her shift at St. Mungo's; it had started twenty minutes ago.

"Bloody, ruddy, Hell," she sputtered, getting to her feet. She hadn't missed a single day of work in five years, minus that one time Rick had paid her to go home.

_Where is my coat?_

"Looking lost, Red?"

Lily, in trying to remember where her coat was, nearly smacked into the tall figure of Sirius Black.

She smiled weakly up at him, offering her hand in a gesture of politeness.

"I would say that nothing ever changes, Sirius Black, but after that speech, I think that would be speaking ill of you."

He took her hand in his and unexpectedly pulled Lily into a hug. She gasped at the familiarity associated with the gesture. She had never been that nice to him in school, and she hadn't even warranted him more than a nod of acknowledgement in the past few days, but here he was, greeting her like an old friend. She supposed, though, in some way or another, he had probably heard an earful about her from someone, be it James or Remus or Frank or Alice. She had expected him to keep his distance from her, but James _had_ broken up with _her_, after all; maybe, in his newfound maturation, he pitied her or something. Lily wasn't really too sure what to make of it.

A fresh blush crept up her cheeks.

"I'd have to say the same of you, Red. Well, your hair is certainly still ginger, but I'm not sure if I can call you Red now. Glad to see that there is still some spunk left in you, though, despite the color change. James needs someone to keep him on his toes."

Lily shifted awkwardly.

"Spunk…?"

Sirius nodded affirmatively.

"I mean, sure, the Death Eaters got away this time, but you did try to chase after them. You've still got guts, spunk. And, not that I heard the particulars, but it sounded like you and James-y boy were having a row earlier. So maybe nothing really does change after all."

"J- Potter and I have nothing in common anymore," Lily issued lamely, unable to say anything. Her gut instinct seemed intent on saying nothing else.

"Well, you have the Order in common now," Sirius replied, undeterred. "And as much of an ass he makes himself out to be, I know that he still cares about you."

Lily felt a flutter in her chest. She tried to smother it as quickly as possible, but she knew that those words were going probably going to come back to haunt her at some point.

"That's fascinating, Black," she muttered offhandedly. "Now that we've discussed my completely nonexistent relationship with Potter, I need to find my coat. I'm already thirty minutes late for my shift at St. Mungo's; I'll be lucky if I don't get canned."

Remus happened to walk in at the end of their conversation.

"Actually, Lily, Alice called in for you a couple of hours ago. Frank told me."

Lily sighed, exasperated. It was only her second day in the Order, her second day of being around everyone again, and she was beginning to wonder if she was ever going to be able to leave.

"What did she tell them?!"

"She told them that you were at The Three Broomsticks last night, when the attack occurred," Frank chided, sliding into the conversation, a plateful of eggs in one hand. "Your boss was more than understanding, apparently. Either you're a complete workaholic, or he fancies you, Lily."

"Or both," Remus and Sirius chided in perfect unison.

"Jinx, you owe me a Butterbeer, Moony!" Sirius muttered, turning back into the childish boy Lily had known from Hogwarts.

Lily sighed, thinking that her efforts to evade the Order were futile. She had spent five years running, and now it looked like she was back for good, whether she liked it or not.

"Can I have a forkful of that, Frank? Those eggs are looking pretty good."

* * *

Hope that you liked it!

Next chapter will finally have the first assignment.

Read and review, please! :-)


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